Last week, I flew to California to be with my coach and support her mastermind event in San Diego.
On the way, I detoured to see my mom in Arizona- the route took me to a layover in Las Vegas.
The day was long, I tend not to eat much on travel days- preferring to stay well hydrated and eat minimally, if at all. This was a long day, so I had looked ahead in LAS to see what yummy food options I might be able to find.
I had located a place where I could get a kale salad and kombucha. Great! (Side note: traveling and planning like this can make for excellent decisions when you are on the road too!)
As we got closer to Las Vegas, the turbulence picked up a lot, and we began to circle in a holding pattern due to wind and a sandstorm below. Finally, cleared to land, we made our descent.
As we were doing that, the plane was blowing back and forth; there was anxiety, hand wringing, sweating and a few screams. Not a whole lot of fun.
The ground was obscured, and it wasn’t clear where we were in space with the sand all around. And then we started climbing again.
The net of this is, we ended up in an alternate airport (no more fuel) in another state while the winds blew and they re-opened the airport.
With a few phone calls and some fast work by the airline employees, the few of us who were connecting in Las Vegas were taken off the plane and rerouted. Those headed to Las Vegas, got to wait.
So, enter the small rural airport- no kale or kombucha in site. 🙁 I headed to the restaurant, and made great food choices. I was hungry, and it tasted good.
Walking afterwards up and down the terminal to move a bit, I noticed I was having a hard time shaking the anxiety, the disappointment at losing the day with my mom. I was jangled and restless.
I sat down to answer emails, and that didn’t feel great. I tried to read and was unable to focus. Typically, reading and emails engage me like no other. 🙂
Out of the corner of my eye, I could see a vending machine. I wanted sweets! I could feel it in every cell of my body.
Here’s the rub.
I have excellent willpower. I can stay away when I want to stay away these days (wasn’t always the case!). At this point in the game, I DO trust my body and try and honor the cravings when I get them. And the message was clear.
I dug in my bag for quarters. I took everything out of my purse. I shook my books until the last needed nickel was found.
You know what? They weren’t even that good… but, immediately thereafter, I felt the soft wrap of the haze. I felt sleepy. I could feel the jangled shock-like aspects of the afternoon settling in my body.
Typically, I like to feel sharp and alert. Ready and prepared.
The numbing and dulling effects of the over-sweet, chemically chocolate were having their effect.. and I welcomed it.
I was able to snooze a bit, and read while I waited for my flight. The most important thing?
I did not make myself wrong for wanting them and having them. I can welcome the effect, and be grateful for it.
Why am I telling you all this??
The path to understanding cravings is not linear.
The path to trusting and knowing what your body needs is important.
Without a clear place to check in with yourself, the opportunity to eat unchecked, to feel deserving of sweets all the time, to feel numbed out and removed from your precious life most of the time will stay at the forefront.
More disastrously, what I see in most women, is the harsh critic that will not relent post-indulgence. The mean voice that makes everything wrong.
I talk to many women each week who are locked in the cycle of cravings, excess weight, confusion around what to do, and pain at how it makes them feel. It’s a terrible cycle.
When you add the harsh voice that then beats you up afterwards, it can be a never ending cycle and really, really hard on your self esteem.
The opportunity to break free of the cycle, to feel empowered by your cravings, to release weight (physical and emotional) that is hanging around, the possibility that your body is your best friend/ally/source of information that you have! It’s where the wisdom is located.
I haven’t shared about it yet with you, and I’ll be talking more about it in the coming weeks- I am openly enrolling for my first ever 9 month group program for women that tackles these exact topics.
I’m super excited, and without being in formal enrollment, there are fewer than 10 spots left! If you are intrigued, and would like to consider this for yourself, would you reach out and let me know?
I’d be happy to share a bit more about the program, and see if you are a good fit!
All my love,